Erikson Jay Wargo Esquire III (egonix) wrote in filmfuckers,
Erikson Jay Wargo Esquire III
egonix
filmfuckers

Movie Reviews

Saw some movies at work again. Went something like this...
  • TROY – You’ll marvel at Brad Pitt’s Triple Lutz Death Stab, you’ll giggle at lines like “The Trojans have never been conquered,” and, during the lengthy battle sequences, you’ll fight to stay awake!
  • COFFEE AND CIGARETTES – I’ll pass on both, thanks. If they made a movie called POT AND WAFFLES, I’d be all over it!
  • NEW YORK MINUTE – If I had to choose a favorite between Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen (and thank goodness I don’t!), I’d go with Ashley because she’s already got a stripper name.
  • VAN HELSING – Kate Beckinsale has been adorable in horrible movies since 1993, but the latest offering from the director of THE MUMMY and THE MUMMY RETURNS is without a doubt the latest offering from the director of THE MUMMY and THE MUMMY RETURNS.
  • MEAN GIRLS (aka CHECK OUT THE BOOBS ON LINDSAY LOHAN!) - Forget comparisons to HEATHERS, the cafeteria cliques scene is lifted right out of the Katie Holmes movie DISTURBING BEHAVIOR. I can’t tell you how sad I am about noticing that.
  • MAN ON FIRE – Tony Scott shows us once again that revenge is a dish best served with pretty photography and choppy editing.
  • 13 GOING ON 30 – Gave me 6 inches going on 6 and a half!

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